I'd Listen to My Parents If They'd Just Shut Up: What to Say and Not Say When Parenting Teens

I am half way through this book and it has changed my/our lives. The author wrote this book about me and my 15 and 18 year old boys personally. I don't know how they collaborated without my knowledge but they did. My boys and I are quoted directly throughout this book, both our spoken words and our thoughts! It is the most concretely helpful yet profound book I have ever encountered. A whole chapter just on the fact teenagers are allergic to doing what they are asked when the are asked! My kids keep asking me what is so funny as I am reading. I have a degree in Psychology and a Master's in Clinical social work for what that is worth when it comes to parenting these boys. I'm a babe in the woods until now with this book. I see where I totally get it and where I have gotten it wrong and the author holds my hand, shows me the error of my ways, and exactly what to do instead and why. He tells us exactly what love says and does, how unconditional love, unconditional positive regard, maturity, and wisdom behave. Word for word. I'm so grateful for the insight and understanding and wisdom I have gained and put into action in our home already. We are happier, much more functional, and more peaceful. Thank you so much, Anthony Wolf.

Hit the nail on the head with this one. I read "get out of my life" then followed up with this.At the crux of it all its sooo comforting to know you are A) not alone B) IT WILL PASS C) you can actually do things and not do things that WILL help.Ive been using some of the techniques in this book and we have ALOT more harmony at home.It hasn't quelled the sibling rivalry (I've got another 2 books on that topic) but at least I am not contributing to any drama in the house and my teen can cool off and come back around to me in a more responsive way.GENIUS!a must-read

His books are great. Parents - they will help you maintain your sanity during the insanity of the teenage years.

Those parents who see the conversations from the book unrealistic should focus on reading some fiction - their task is naturally easy without too much effort - it happened to me with my younger child. But those, whose parenting skills are really tested by their growing kids, this book gives real advice, many times confirmation that you are doing something right, provides useful details for many situations, and most of all, gives hope. I really like the author's position that this is not going to be an easy road. He is not looking for a dogmatic stiff approach. He teaches parents to be wise, flexible to be able to achieve the goals of raising a happy adult. The biggest thing for me is that I gradually change my mindset, and it is helping. The book is modern, very well written, and many times enternaining. If you don't recognize your child in at least a few of the conversations from the book, your parenting job is too plain easy. I'm throwing away a few parenting books after reading this one.

I LOVED this no-nonsense, funny, and poignant book by Anthony Wolf. I have a 13 year old daughter and a 10 year old son who are great kids. It is very important to me I keep the lines of communication open with my kids and having a teenager can sometimes make it challenging.This book provivded just what I needed to hear and helped reassure me I was on the right track as well as give me a better understanding of how teens feel about their parents. I am not a big reader of self-help type books since they tend to tell too many "stories" instead of getting right to the point with short examples. This book says what every parent needs to hear and it does so in a fun, engaging, and non-condescending manner. I laughed, cried, and developed an even bigger appreciation for my teen. It is hard work for them and am so proud that she is a good kid :-)I would recommend this book to every parent with a teen, seriously. It was much appreciated by this single mom!

It doesn't have all the answers, but it approaches the problems and solutions in an incredibly honest way. I've been looking for a book to help my child work through her problems and ease the tension between her and my wife and I. I was reading "Transforming the Difficult Child" and it got to a point where the final solution was to effectively give them a time-out. Seriously. I scoffed at it and found so many loophole and ways to get around what they were wanting the parent to do. This book doesn't give an ultimate, this-always-works solution, but is realistic in presenting the fact that no matter what you do, your kid will make his/her own choices. And even though you don't think they listen to you, or that you matter to them, you do. And thinking back on my own teenage years, I was very much that way. Reassuring and extremely helpful.

This book touches on a lot of the themes of Get Out of My Life, but goes into more depth. It also talks about newer issues, like social media and electronics. Highly recommend it. These two books have helped me during the adolescent years like nothing else has. I re-read them regularly. Nothing has been more spot-on as far as defining the parent-teen struggle or more reassuring to me as a parent that adolescence is what it is for a reason and much of the tension and conflict can be minimized and successfully navigated following some basic principals.

Get out of my life (Wolf's previous book on teens) should be required reading for parents, and then they need to read this one. Every page is filled with insight and practical advice on how to handle the storms and stress of adolescence. This witty, relevant book will have parents nodding in agreement and wishing they could re-do conversations with their teens that didn't go so well. There's not a wasted page here. Wolf understands the teen mind, how to translate the rhetoric, and negotiate minefields of the teen years. He explains what to say, what not to say, and when one should say nothing. I've been to war and I've had teenagers, and war was easier. Wolf's books are worth their weight in gold.

As I just said, this book made me feel better just by reading it! When I first read it, it made me laugh and it made me cry. I could hear my teenage son's voice saying all the same phrases in my head. I found out where I was going wrong and, most importantly, what I was doing right. I bought this book as well as 'Get Out of My Life: But First Take Me and Alex Into Town' at the same time because I was so desperate. If I have a criticism about this book, it is only because it is written by an american author for the american market and therefore has words like 'mom' and 'trash' and 'Mall' in it - it's a personal dislike, but that is too minor a gripe to drop it even half a star rating. (His other book is completely geared towards the british reader.) Both books tackle up-to-date issues such as the internet, mobile phones, social networking sites and how to cope. It gives hints and tips to make life with your teenager better and, although there are probably too many tips to implement at once, once you start doing it and your teen stops in his tracks mid-rant, you start to feel more in control. If you have specific issues, the book index makes it easy to find the situation you are having a problem with so you can dip into it and read up on it. Sometimes, just de-camping to my room to read the chapter on the latest crisis was enough to defuse a bad situation. As I continued to read more of the book, I realised that we were both normal, this was all normal behaviour. It isn't enough to say things like 'I would never have behaved like that to my parents', because we live in a different world. I realise that my parents ruled by fear and we don't do that any more, so we have to find other strategies to get the behaviour we want from our kids and this book helped me do that. My son's behaviour had been a shock to me, as my daughter (3 years older) had never been as bad as my son now is. We had had our arguments, but nothing like the terrible, bitter rages that I get from my son. I have been really desperate and I really did not want the Police involved -again- (it was that bad) as it was getting embarrassing. All too often, especially as a single parent with no extended family, it was easy to think that it was all my fault because I was a terrible mother. It made me realise why my son says what he does and why he behaves in that manner. To sum it up, this book has given me hope......that one day I'll realise that my son has emptied the dishwasher without me asking and then made me a cup of coffee....and all with a smile!

Easy to read and follow, just like my own teens have written it for me. Makes a lot of sense and gives you a lot to think about with regard to parenting teens. Great book.

Extremely helpful for Parents with Autistic spectrum children.

It's a must have for all parents of teenagers. It gives easy to follow advice.You'll learn to say "no" and stick with it.

Useful. Read in small chunks and remember the bits that ring true for your family. Very Americanised but insightful. Ended up feeling my own teenagers were well adjusted and well behaved!